The Addict’s Private Prison – Part 1

Ok so you wonder is this woman qualified to speak on this topic. To that I would say judge for yourself. I walked side by side, for nine years with my daughter Angela through the most agonizing hell fire you can imagine as she fought her heroin addiction. I have seen things I will never put to paper, I have heard things I will never utter to another soul. I have read her private thoughts with gut wrenching pain… so yes I feel qualified…so we move forward.

We all have secrets. Imagine for a moment you have a secret so brutal, so intense, so beyond the definition of private (and perhaps you do) you feel you can never reveal it to another living soul. Think about that for a second and let the very thought of that sink in, feel it… can you even begin to imagine what it must be like to live with that secret day in and day out – alone? You’re trapped with it inside your own private prison, walls so thick and reinforced with years of guilt and fear. Impenetrable the best security system ever built…no need for electronic gadgets or armed guards; the human heart coupled with beaten down self-esteem is stronger than anything man could ever physically create.

Addicts in their active addiction create such chaos and drama, unintentionally but they create it just the same. Days filled with deception weave an unattractive tapestry. Early on the lies don’t weigh so heavy but as the progression of the addiction makes headway the lies become tangled and hard to keep track of…manipulation is an everyday occurrence and chasing their chosen high is first and foremost in their minds. It doesn’t matter who they have to deceive, or what they must sacrifice within themselves be it physical or emotional to obtain the high. It isn’t because they are callous or evil it’s because the monster that is addiction is more powerful than the human condition can overcome at that time. Like having your arms and legs bound together and thrown into the ocean unable to mobilize, to swim and to save yourself.

Unless you’ve been there or seen it firsthand you probably will never understand it. But those of us who have seen it or lived it firsthand realize the unbelievable power of drugs/alcohol. It is a crippling feeling to watch a loved one locked away behind self inflicted prison walls and to know we are powerless… we do not have the key to set them free.

Distressed Parenting

I just can't believe the number of parents that are getting high with their children. In some areas it is worse than others but that fact that I have to address this issue at all causes my heart great pain.

Our children look to us for guidance, support, life lessons, the difference between right and wrong. While raising a family so many issues we are faced with are not black and white... they are varying shades of gray. But there is one issue we are dealing with right here and it is drugs are illegal!!! Not only are marijuana, cocaine, crack, heroin, mushrooms etc... extremely damaging to your health (both physical and mental) and potentially deadly but I repeat they are illegal.

It is a parents job to teach their children to respect the law, the system and the government even if they do not agree with them. There are many laws and situations that I myself may not agree with, however, that does not give me the right to break the law, just because it doesn't suit my personal preferences. No one has that right! It is imperative that children learn laws are put in place for a reason and regardless of our personal opinion they are to be obeyed.

What kind of example are parents that actually get high with their kids setting for them? What kind of respect will these young people show other adults in authority and eventually - what kind of respect will they grow to have for their own parents?? My guess is little or none! The frivolous pursuit of attaining a high, an illegal high to top it off... squandering money on illegal drugs, risking their own freedom and the welfare of their children is irresponsible and potentially deadly. This does not show lack of love per say... but it does show an inability to think and reason clearly when it comes of responsible parenting.

I want to make myself very clear in that I understand the trappings of addiction.I condemn or judge no one with addictions issues. But there is never a good reason to pull a child into that set of circumstances. It is the responsibility of the adult with the personal issue of addiction to get help with their recovery - not to offer their own child or someone else's child the option of getting high with them. That action I condemn whole-heartedly. I've thought through this issue quite thoroughly and cannot find any good reason for a parent to get high with their children.

We too often turn our heads from these situations because we have become a society of "me" and not "we". It really is time for us to start caring for each other, helping each other and not leaving today's youth to fend for themselves when a situation such as this is part of their up bringing.

I ask you, if you know of a situation such as what I have described, please notify someone. Perhaps, a school guidance counselor, local authority figure... clergy... someone... reach out and give a child in this dangerous state and opportunity to grow up drug free. Doing so will perhaps give the parents involved as reason... an eye opening reason to clean up their lives, to stay in recovery and be able to teach and love their children as they deserve to be parented.

God bless...