Never Rest

Sunday is my day to rest, glorify the Lord and just spend time "being". Life right now is so different than 3+ years ago. The drug drama in our life has ceased to be... along with our daughter. Drug use/addiction never takes a Sabbath... never takes a holiday. For those caught in the web of drug use every day is a marathon... energy must be spent to find the drugs needed, figure how to pay for them, acquire the drugs, get high and than if necessary cover up the drug use... a vicious cycle.

When Ang was active in her heroin addiction she was often "missing" for long periods of time. She was with her friends chasing the high - it was a full time job. The hell of not knowing where she was, how she was is a feeling I will never be able to shake. It is forever embedded in my memory. But the reality of drug use/addiction is that the drug is needed... needed... a must have right now "kind of need". There is no rest for the spirit... even for those who know the Lord forget to whom they belong... they rest for no one... imagine if you can what your life would be like if you were caught in such a demanding cycle of destruction.

This cycle becomes the addict...

Enemy - by Angela Faus
Fighting with an enemy,
That's not even on my level,
The painful lust,
I carry still,
The blessed light,
I bury,
I watch the hands,
Commit the crimes,
And how fast they deny it,
And the aftershock,
As it returns,
The chaos of each day,
It's no longer quite as painful,
To just turn my head away,
The losses I've won,
The time that I'm losing,
A wasted life,
A hopeless fear,
It knows I won't deny it,
The pain it caused,
The childhood I lost,
The memories slowly fading,
I cherish my pain,
As I cherish my loss,
And as I cherish the time left remaining.

It has been way too long since I have posted here. My hands are in terrible shape and typing is difficult but no excuse. October 6th I will get one of them operated on so I will be on my way to full typing ability!

Do you know about Red Ribbon Week? If you do not you should be aware. Everyone should be aware of the dangers of drugs and alcohol, not only to those who use it but those who put their lives on the line everyday to try and stop it. Educate yourself it's important - many lives are at stake. http://camarenafoundation.org/why_kiki.htm

There are times when I get overwhelmed by the sad state of affairs that surround the issue of substance abuse. Agencies don't communicate very well with each other, young people don't want to "get involved" when they see their friends making poor decisions. People don't know what resources are available to them as alternatives to using drugs. Fun, my friends does not come in a bottle, a syringe or a pipe of any kind. Fun, joy, happiness all come from within. It comes from knowing who you are and where you are going and knowing with the guidance of Christ all things are possible.

At this moment as I type I am thinking of Angela... I miss her so much. I long to see her perfect smile and beautiful face. In my dreams she is there but only in my dreams.

Blessings