Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Beauty of the Lord, the reality of Life

The Lord is my rock and my fortress, He is mighty, He is merciful, His blood covers me, I am filled with his peace. What an amazing feeling and worthy of everyone's consideration when they look at their life and gage how they are doing on their own? Is there own "inner strength" enough to sustain them with a measure of peace and promise in times of trials and pain? Or is there something missing? Is life not going quite as planned because they are trying in vain to steer their own course, plot their own path, make it on their own in a world that is pulling us all in every possible direction at the same time. The TV taunts us to buy more stuff, to make more money, to drive a fancier car... the one who dies with the most toys wins. It is a sad thought that so many folks are consumed by the need for more stuff and less concerned about the spiritual health and the spiritual health of their families. I am not sitting in judgement, I am merely speaking of what I witness on a daily basis. It doesn't matter how many toys you have, when death comes, they mean nothing! You leave this world the same way you came in to it, with nothing but your soul, your spirit and your physical presence. Reality check folks... think about it.

God loves us no matter who we are, how many toys we have and what choices we have made in our lives. But in order to find peace, we must reconcile those choices with God. I see the tears in the eyes of parents whose child is using drugs and they are so torn and frustrated and scared. Well they should be; their child's life and future is on the line. These young people are setting a precedence for a pattern of making bad choices that could - I say could stay with them the rest of their lives if something doesn't click in their minds, if something doesn't change.

That change can not be forced or coerced - it needs to come within them. They need a reason to move in a positive forward motion. They need guidance as to how to bring about this change. They need not only new skill sets for daily living but also a new thought process, a new faith process for spiritual growth, for lifetime success. The seeds need to be planted and then nurtured so that they continue to grow, strong and healthy and able to stand on their own without drugs, without alcohol... standing gloriously with the Lord and a host of heavenly Angels to guide them forward.


Friday, July 10, 2009

Trying to fly too soon

Last evening when I returned from speaking to a group of wonderful young people I sat to discuss the days events with my husband. As we were sitting on the porch he spoke to me of three young robins that he had contact with after work. One of the poor babies he found dead in the yard, one had fallen from the tree and was unable to fly so he gently picked it up and sat it down over the fence and the other was also in our yard but had much better wings. This one "flew" a little bit and then scurried off through a hole in our fence. Mind you with three dogs it's very important that we keep a watchful eye out for baby birds and bunnies. We sat there and I heard the mother robin still calling for her babies. She was sitting on our wood pile in the area where the babies had at one time been. She called and called for them... perhaps calling out "where are you" or perhaps mourning the loss of one of her precious children. Robins are notorious for leaving the nest far too soon, thinking they are ready to fly. My our heart ached for her, knowing the pain of losing a child far too soon. Thanking the Lord for his creation and the grace he gives me each and every day I began to think on the subject.

Those baby robins and their mother are so like we are as humans. Those wonderful young people that I had the pleasure of addressing and talking with so like the babies robins leaving the nest too soon, unprepared for what truly lies ahead. Venturing into unfamiliar territory - drugs, alcohol... searching for their freedom not even realizing that being dependent on drugs is not being free. They step out of childhood... into young adulthood without the proper armour and without all the necessary skills yet in place. The reality of drug and alcohol abuse is you are never truly free or independent as long as they are part of your life.

What makes us feel the need to leave the nest so soon? Why when we start to hit the magic teenage years do we feel we must be so independent? Looking back I remember that feeling but now that I am much older I long to be nurtured and taken care of a bit. If only these young folks could hold onto their childhood a bit longer, enjoying it, savoring it... embracing the magic of youth.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Uninvited pain

As I stood elbow deep in my cleaning bucket a rush came over me. Yes, she's gone... Angie's gone. It's not like I ever forget it, that reality clings to me, it's part of me. Moments come however, when the pain flows through me as if I had been struck by a lightening bolt. Her pain becomes my pain. I remember clearly her tears flowing soaking my shirt as I held her tightly. Mom, why am I so different, why don't I have any friends... I want to be liked, I want to be loved. So beaten down by the world around her, longing to be part of a circle of friends that did not include drugs in their life style. Trying to be part of their world and being shunned with every effort. Most people do not believe in second changes, they don't believe people can change. How sad really, that we aren't willing to give those who have made mistakes a chance to be welcomed back with open arms to the friends who once claimed to love them. The ripping apart of my heart seems to never end. I miss her so very much. I miss her smile, her beautiful heart, her gift of poetry... her relentless quest to learn... someday. I close my eyes and picture her as she comes to me in dreams... I so long to reach out and touch her there but it is only that... a longing. I pray to the Lord for his peace that surpasses all understanding so that I can make it through another day.

How are these young people today with the same problems, the same issues, the same desires suppose to reach out to another world, one without drugs? Where do they go from where they are to where they want to be? Can you imagine how hard it is to find new friends? To start over again during your teenage years? A time when your emotions and hormones are raging and volatile? How do they step out of what has become their comfort zone with drugs and alcohol into a world where they must feel everything... exactly how it is meant to be felt... no numbing, no extra laughter... no hazed over thoughts. Just pure, real emotion. Oh Lord I pray you will speak to me the words that will help to answer this question. Give me the ways and means to bring about the change needed to help these young people grow beyond this haze of drugs...

I could not take Angie's pain and longing from her, I could only love her, hold her... pray for her. Was there more I could have done? The answer to that questions will no doubt plaque me the rest of my days on this earth.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

New and updated website is now under going a total revamping of its website. The old website is still in place but check by often as I am currently designing the new site. I'm not a professional web designer as you can see from my first attempt, but the budget is small - so I must do it myself.

No worries... I know that the true look, feel and heart of this ministry is about to be born on the big ole web!!!!

Please keep me in your prayers!


It's been a while

It's been quite some time since I last posted. I have been busy re-writing my current life state of affairs. I have moved on from my full time job and have taken on BrokenButLoved's ministry full time. There is so much work to be done, so many lives to touch, so much love to give. Each day I rise in prayer thanking the Lord for blessing me with yet another day to try and make a difference. I pray for energy and passion, for the love of Christ to shine through me. Lead me Lord to those things I must do, those young people I must touch.

As more doors begin to open I am filled with a greater sense of urgency because I see so clearly what others turn their eyes away from everyday... broken dreams, broken homes, broken spirits... drugs and alcohol being used to "glue" it all back together in some fashion. The problem is that drugs and alcohol are liars, they hold no truth but death in some form or another... you can not fix a broken life without truth... truth and love.

I had the pleasure of meeting a young man on Monday evening that I have been in contact with only through email. Heads Up Lancaster was having an Urban Art Show in downtown Lancaster so I trotted downtown to meet him and to see what this program is doing in our city. My heart was so full of joy when I saw him and watched him. Even before I spoke with him directly I could see and feel the love of Christ shining within him, radiating far beyond his personal space. Watching him with the young people and his beautiful family - interacting with all of them in such a peaceful way - yet in constant motion. Meeting him personally was just awesome - his vision, what he and his group have put into practice, brought into being is amazing.

The young people dancing and clapping and sending out a beautiful message of true joy to the universe brought a lightness to my heart song for that evening. Joy in motion... bear witness my friends because it not close your eyes or your hearts to the possibility.