Friday, April 30, 2010


This week I tried to impress upon a small group of young drug users how quickly life can end. The dynamics of this group was extremely diversified. Every single on of them said they were using drugs for fun. No one would admit they used for any other reason... okay perhaps that's true but the vibe in the room said otherwise. See I watch their eyes, their body language... I listen to the tone of their voices and their reaction to my discussion points. Teens often where their hearts on their sleeves and in this case they were all wearing clues. My heart aches for them and how I wish I could speak with each of them individually... perhaps BBL will raise enough money to be able to afford private office space some day and I will be able to really touch them... deeper... making more of an impact.

So there are pushing the envelope of drug use for fun. Fun? Okay I get that on some level because drugs feel good. I was young once... but these young ones have so many things to keep them entertained. Hmmm perhaps that why they use drugs to have fun. Maybe they have too many "things" and not enough opportunity to be truly young... using their imagination... their brain power in order to create amusement. Perhaps they are spending too much time in front of the TV or video games cooped up inside without the fresh air and sunshine.

Think of it... we as adults long to be out of the office and into the fresh air. Long weeks taking care of our adult business leave us hungry for sunshine to the point where driving home with the windows down is actually a treat for us. Maybe the youth of today need to feel the wind caressing their faces... they just don't know it. So for them sneaking out with their buds behind the garage in the back yard and getting high is their escape from the plugged in world they live in. My guess is they just don't understand that point. When was the last time you sent your kids out to rake or mow the yard? When was the last time their friends came over to shoot hoops in the driveway or hang out on the back porch with iced tea and snacks listening to music?

Life can be over with the snap of your fingers. Drug related deaths occur more often than you can imagine. Snap you fingers folks... right now... snap them... your child's life could be over just that quickly. Snap... snap... snap. I am not talking rice crispy type cereal here... I am talking about the very last breath of a young one. Just that quickly.

Pray for our children... they are all children of God!


Ephesians 6:10-20

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

May 15 2010

May 15th is a very special day for BrokenButLoved. It is our first annual teen substance abuse awareness event and prayer vigil. This event is being held in Lancaster Square, Lancaster, PA across from Binn's Park from 5-7:30 pm. With the help of Christian rock band Thur Me, numerous speakers and a slew of volunteers we seek to spread Christ's love through music, speakers and prayer. We are losing teens every day to drug/alcohol use and it is up to each of us to take back our family unit - bring the focus back on family, faith and love. If you are in the area please stop by and support this very important cause. What could possibly be more important than our families, our community, our children?

Parents come out and bring your tweens and teens.... this is a free event... for all ages.

Visit our website find us on Facebook and Twitter...


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Prom Time

Yes prom time is upon us. So much preparation, the right dress, the right shoes, make sure we get our hair done just right.. and guys have to have the right "ride" and or course the corsage. Parents are usually involved in the whole preparation process with the exception of who our teen is actually going to the prom with this year. They manage that process all own their own. If you don't know your teens date then find out who they are... do some detective work folks it is important to know who your teen is spending this evening with...

Now I present to you for your consideration how much time as a parent have you put into communicating a message of safety and good choice to your teen prior to this big event. Have you broached the subject of alcohol, drugs and sex? If you haven't you need to... right away. It is imperative that your teen understand that just because this is a big event in their life doesn't mean all the rules fly out the window. They aren't being given a 'get out of jail free' card to do whatever they want to just because it's prom time. Right and wrong still exist... legal and illegal still exist... and peer pressure may be even greater during this season of festivities. What are you instilling into your young ones? Are you renting the limo "just in case"? There shouldn't be a just in case scenario. It is amazing to me how many limo driver's "allow" drinking etc. in their limo's when they know darn well the kids are under age. Once again we see other turning a blind eye... I ask what does that say to the young people of this country?

Parent sit them down and let them know what your expectation are and how they must be responsible. Some of these young ones are getting ready to take their first steps into the real world in a month or so. They have to understand the importance of making the right choices when presented with behaviors that will compromise their futures. Standing strong against the crowd is brutal no doubt. But it's time for them to decide who they are... who they desire to be moving forward. One night of abandon could end tragically. This is no time to get wimpy parents... no time to let it be ok "just this once"... " kids will be kids"... "okay, just this once because it's the prom"... please don't take that stance. Take it once and your teen will remember it I assure you. They will remember the one time mom and dad said we'll let it slide and they will push the envelope at a later date.

Pray for the children my friends... pray for a safe prom season... pray over your child... give them the tools they need to make the right choices. God has so much for them to do, they are growing into the adults of the future. Send them forth with the right attitude, the right confidence in who they them make the best possible decisions.


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

One Size Part 2

Let me say again for the record that AA/NA are great programs! Folks have a lot of success utilizing the 12 steps. The majority of outpatient and inpatient rehabs use the AA/NA steps for helping addicts get into recovery. Great rehabs out there as well. Angela spent time in numerous rehab programs, the problem was she wasn't ready to stop using drugs. During the tender teen years I was not surprised by that... even though we all wanted her to "recover" teens think they are indestructible.

One of the main issues she had when she returned to the real world was finding AA/NA groups that had other teens attending on a regular basis. She had a hard enough time being around other teens let alone going to meetings where for the most part she was the only teen in the group. Unfortunately, meeting attendance for her became a horrible issue and she flatly refused to attend. Of course part of her issue with the "meetings" were the accountability factor... she hated that part. But I must also state that couple that aspect along with her mental health and self esteem issues, I understand why it was so torturous for her.

That's one of the reason that I want to see BrokenButLoved be able to start teen meetings only... where teens can deal with their special issues and feel more comfortable addressing their drug use. This is something that I am currently working towards. Bringing teens into an environment where they feel more secure, with their own age group... I see that as a great resource.

See - not every addict responds to one single course of treatment for addiction. There is no cookie cutter stamped program. I have gone rounds with some counselors when I made mention of that... they don't want to hear such things. But folks it's true... some youth respond differently than others... some learn differently than others... why wouldn't it stand to reason that not all kids will respond positively to only a 12 step program. The 12 steps are awesome and necessary... but it's a lot for a teenager to take in... to process and then to apply.

Angela knew the 12 steps backward and forward... but could not... or would not apply them. Recovery from drug addiction is very difficult... but possible. It takes time... and effort... teens and effort... well sometimes those two words do not go together... especially when they consider themselves invincible.

No perfect program... but many great ones... when treating a teen bringing the very best of many programs may just be the best solution. Never give up... Love them... forgive them... hold them accountable...


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

One size? Part 1

It would be so nice if drug addiction recovery had one single solution. Unfortunately, in my opinion and experience there is no "cookie cutter solution" available. It simply is not a one size fits all world. The same goes for those suffering from drug addiction and looking for a way out, looking for a rehab program that is going to cure all their ills. The truth be told there just isn't "one perfect program" that works for everybody.

I find that tweens/teens/young twenty-somethings have all types of other things going on with them that many adult addicts no longer deal with... peer pressure, parental pressure, hormones etc. This particular group needs even more special attention. They haven't found their "voice" yet. They are still in the early stages of seeking to find out where they belong. They've already thrown drug/alcohol abuse in to the mix so their waters are even more muddied than they should be. So, is there a perfect rehab program for our younger generation?

AA/NA are great programs please don't think I am stating otherwise. The only issue I take with these programs is the "God as you know him" or "you higher power". I am not sure how you feel, when it comes to our young ones giving them the option to define for themselves God as you know him or a higher power is dangerous business. It's hard enough for adults to make that definition. Our young bucks... well imagine how them might choose their God to be defined? Imagine how leaninet God might be with them? Now... if you teach them about God, about Jesus, about the Holy Spirit and why and how they are connected and influence our lives... well then you actually lay a foundation for their spiritual growth. You help them truly define and understand God... or at least begin to understand. Only through their own personal walk will they truly attain God's grace and how it helps with recovery.

Tomorrow I will continue this thought process... until then


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Never Rest

Sunday is my day to rest, glorify the Lord and just spend time "being". Life right now is so different than 3+ years ago. The drug drama in our life has ceased to be... along with our daughter. Drug use/addiction never takes a Sabbath... never takes a holiday. For those caught in the web of drug use every day is a marathon... energy must be spent to find the drugs needed, figure how to pay for them, acquire the drugs, get high and than if necessary cover up the drug use... a vicious cycle.

When Ang was active in her heroin addiction she was often "missing" for long periods of time. She was with her friends chasing the high - it was a full time job. The hell of not knowing where she was, how she was is a feeling I will never be able to shake. It is forever embedded in my memory. But the reality of drug use/addiction is that the drug is needed... needed... a must have right now "kind of need". There is no rest for the spirit... even for those who know the Lord forget to whom they belong... they rest for no one... imagine if you can what your life would be like if you were caught in such a demanding cycle of destruction.

This cycle becomes the addict...

Enemy - by Angela Faus
Fighting with an enemy,
That's not even on my level,
The painful lust,
I carry still,
The blessed light,
I bury,
I watch the hands,
Commit the crimes,
And how fast they deny it,
And the aftershock,
As it returns,
The chaos of each day,
It's no longer quite as painful,
To just turn my head away,
The losses I've won,
The time that I'm losing,
A wasted life,
A hopeless fear,
It knows I won't deny it,
The pain it caused,
The childhood I lost,
The memories slowly fading,
I cherish my pain,
As I cherish my loss,
And as I cherish the time left remaining.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Just one more nite

As I prepared for lights out my heart is a bit heavy. Earlier today I heard a parent saying to their young one some derogatory remarks that left me cold. I'm sure the young one was hurt by the remarks that made mention to a time when life was sweeter without them and much, much easier as well.

Of course the teenage mind pretends not to be affected by such rude and insensitive statements. The teenage posture is one of 'I'm tough - your words can't and don't hurt me' and yet inside... I imagine the shattering of fine crystal as their hearts and spirits are very fragile... we adults forget that because their exterior seems so impenetrable.

Parents... no matter what your child is going through, no matter how angry you might be right now, no matter what you should stop right now and thank God for them. Look around and count your blessings. If there is struggle in your life right now be thankful you are still breathing and ask God to help you in your situation. Pray for your children... pray for children every where. Tell your child(ren) you love them... love them... hug them... tousle their hair... make them smile... maybe even giggle... fill the house with the sweet laughter of childhood even if it is just for a moment... then the moment is gone. Some moments happen and then there is nothing.

There are no more tears to comfort... there are no more meetings to attend,, no more lectures to give... no more giggles... no more smiles... love them please... forgive them always...

What I wouldn't give for one more night with Angie... when more talk...hug... smile... tear... I Love You...

Blessings...thank you Lord for giving me 22 years with my baby girl

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

All that glitters

Angela liked things that sparkled. Anything that sparkled fascinated her from the time she was very small. Many parents out there have held a little one who was hypnotized with shining dangling ear rings, reaching out for them, grabbing on tightly whenever possible... Angela was no different... as she grew she her love for the sparkly things of life grew... glitter... glitter every where. Glitter for projects, glitter nail polish, glitter eye shadow... glittery I miss those days.

One day her love for all that glittered was replaced with a sign on her door that said "All that glitters is NOT gold"... from that point on glitter lost its shine during the periods of her life when the lights went out and as heroin ruled the days and nights... as it extinguished what little light was left in my glitter gal... The crushing blow of drug use in our children deflates our own spirits... snuffs out the light within us. Relighting that flame feels impossible for the most part, but we continue the best we can, using our flashlights and wondering through the darkness looking for a way to save our child from the grips of drug use. There ought to be a parental safety switch right??? An emergency button we activate during worse case scenario's... and yet there is no such device. We are on our own.

How do you save someone who does not want to be saved... even if that someone is your child? You can't, plain and simply put, they have to want to save themselves. Now I am not saying that as parents we can't do every thing we possibly can to establish a process for healing. Yes, that we can do. We can establish boundaries, consequences to inappropriate actions and activities... that we can do... or at least attempt to do. Most importantly though, in my humble opinion is being fully present with them while they are struggling... help them learn how to process life and all that is happening to them. Love them, teach them... forgive them... so that when they are ready they know you are there for them. For most parents this process is long and excruciating... and patience wears thin... I get that, I totally understand, but do your very best to hang on even when you feel like throwing your hands in the air and saying "forget it...I'm done... you're on your own". When you feel like that pray... ask God to give you strength... re-assess the situation, regain your composure and keep going.

Remember... there is a great deal going on inside your young one right now... things you can't possibly know or even understand. Looking back...reading Angela's writings shed a great deal of light on those things... the places I couldn't reach...I am sharing one of her writing with you all...

Seven ~Angela M. Faus~

I don't hate you for what you are,
but for what you represent.
The happiness in your eyes,
isn't a lie,
the life that flows from you,
makes me want to cry.
because you're everything I want to be.

Somethings we as parents will never understand... I must go now and cry... I still do that you know... cry for yesterday... cry for all the tomorrows that will never come... cry for all those kids I can't reach and for all the parents I can't help.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Power in Parenting?

Recently during a parent group session I ran across a woman who was obviously at her wit's end, frustrated and angry by her child's drug use. The young one had been huffing for two years and had finally been "caught" by authorities - hence the reason for her participation. It was clear she didn't want to be there. Her attitude was much different than most parents... but everyone handles their pain in a unique way... this was her way.

Here she was, somewhere she didn't want to be and she had done everything she could do for the last two years and yet nothing had changed. Huffing meant that she had to clean her entire house from aerosol cans. She had removed everything that her child could use to get high from her home. She had grounded him, cleared his room of all his belongings, attempted to monitor friends... all the things that made sense. Yet she said nothing had worked so they just gave everything back to him and stopped trying to control him - because it didn't work anyway. I truly felt for her because I so clearly understood where she was coming from... been there... done that.

So during our discussions I mentioned that perhaps if juvenile "records" were kept on the books until a child's 21st birthday they might give more thought to their actions as juveniles she went off on me. She would have no parts of that, her thought process was 'that could keep my child from getting into college'. In my mind I thought... okay... yes it might... but if your child keeps huffing and using other drugs his brain capabilities probably won't let him get in to college to begin with. Yes, we must keep our children's future in mind, but first and foremost we must figure out why they are using drugs and help them straighten out this mess. First things - first.

During another part of the discussion I noted that I felt our children today are more bombarded than ever with outside stimuli. They are always plugged in to something... video games, cell phones, TV, music...have you seen some of the video games your kids are playing? Their minds are filled with drugs, ho's, theft and violence... as is their music and television. Now I am not suggesting any form of censorship from the government. I believe in free speech. But parental censorship - yes - absolutely. I am not putting total blame on the media over stimulation, but I also refuse to believe that it does not have an impact on their thought process. I feel there is some degree of desensitizing going on here.

Another point she disagreed with and that is her right, I'm okay with that...she felt 'peer pressure' is the only thing that has any power. Folks this is called denial. Today's youth are much smarting than we give them credit for, they have a better understand than we think. They are just willing to take bigger risks than we would like. I truly feel peer pressure is a large part of the reason kids turn to drugs but do not believe it is the only reason. Bear in mind any child can be the one putting the peer pressure on someone else. It has to start with someone and none of us like to consider our child might be at the heart of the pressure. Therefore, to not look at all of the influences in your child's life is to be in denial. It means that you have some tough parenting to do. Perhaps she felt that way because she had tried to control the outside influences and had found herself so frustrated that she just gave up.

I felt for her, I truly did. She did not want to admit her anger, her fear, or her guilt. She had put on the mask of a parent in denial and commented as we were leaving 'I didn't expect to have to stay here the whole time'. How I wished I would have been able to sit down and speak candidly with her one on one. There is no judgment here folks... only stating the facts and hoping that you learn something from this encounter. When you child is involved with drugs, you are in it for the long haul. Deal with your feelings, open your eyes and be prepared to be frustrated. Don't allow yourself to wear the mask of denial for too long. Her child has something going on inside of them... there is no place for a 'shut down parent' in this situation. Parenting from this situation is not for the faint of heart.

Be Blessed

Friday, April 9, 2010


Anger has reared its ugly head, fear has left you shaken... hold on because the biggest monster of all is about to shattered everything you ever thought you knew about yourself. Here comes guilt... guilt is relentless. Guilt is like a weed, you think you have gotten rid of it only to see it's found its way back into the garden that is your mind. It's roots are deep and rugged...

My kid is using drugs? Where did I go wrong? How could I have let this happen? I missed something... yes I must have... what was it? Was it working all those hours to make ends meet? I mean I was still at every baseball game even if I was dead tired. Maybe its when I stopped packing lunches... yes that's it... no wait... it must be the car... that driver's license, new friends, struggling in school, depression... the divorce... stop. Just stop... because you are thinking so rapidly you aren't digesting anything... just stop before it's completely out of control. Too late huh? It only takes a split second until guilt has spread through your entire parental lobe and into your heart which is now so heavy you can barely stand to be alive.

During Angela's addiction I can't begin to tell you how many times I said "what did I do? If you loved me you'd stop..." and she would reply "Mom this isn't about you... not everything is about you". I was the King Kong of guilt. I had a laundry list of ways that I had failed as a parent. I stomped around holding that list in my hand crushing my own heart just like they were buildings... the way a good monster should. I was convinced for a very long time that I was the sole reason she used drugs. Guess what, there were so many factors that led to her use of drugs... so many.

Kids begin to use drugs for various reasons and I know you know them... pain, boredom, fun, anxiety, abuse, peer pressure, low self-esteem etc... you know the list. And yes sometimes as I stated before parents are actively involved with doing drugs with their kids. Sometimes it is true that irresponsible parenting leaves our young ones with no guidance, no boundaries and way too much time on their hands.

Here's the thing, if you - as the parent are honest with yourself then you know whether or not you have lived up to your parental responsibilities. There is no book on parenting... no rules to the game... but if you can seek inside your heart and say "I've done the very best I can"... then guilt has no place in this new equation. If you have blatantly harmed your child through abuse, abandonment etc... than you need to take stock - put the blame away and atone...

Assuming that you have done your personal best then take a long hard look at what is driving these feelings of guilt. Absorb them, feel them, don't deny it because if you do it will return with the vengeance of a firestorm from Hell. Look at your guilt, study it... think it through... then let it go. Let it go but remember that any little insecurities you have, any parental "slip-ups" will be used by your child against you when they are confronted. Yes - your child/tween/teen will do that to you... when young ones are on the defensive their attacks are brutal. So be prepared, be very prepared.

That is why it is so important for you to check your anger, fear and guilt at the door before you approach your teen about the issue at hand. Everything and anything that you have ever done "to them" becomes a weapon. It's not that they don't love you - it's that their secret is out and their only recourse is to defend themselves.
Ang said to me one time "Mom you scarred me for life when you made me wear colored socks that match my outfit in 3rd grade". At the time I broke my heart... how could I do that to her... then I realized in the big picture... hello??? Colored socks? She pulled at my heart strings numerous times with that one... if that's the worse thing I did as a single parent then so be it.

So put the guilt away (remember you may have to lock it up numerous times during this journey)... focus on the child, you have already studied all your reasons for feeling guilty. Don't waste time going in circles within yourself... just focus on them and how to get this situation under control. Think, breath... think... focus... time to talk. Time to sit down and talk.

Be blessed!

Thursday, April 8, 2010


So, the anger is subsiding... and the parental lobe is shifting into second gear and you are full of fear. Fearful you should be because drugs on any level is pulls your child into a danger zone unknown to you prior to this experience.

What kinds of drugs are they using? How long have they been using? Why? Why? Why? How introduced them to drugs, where are they getting them, where are they using them? Your mind is racing as well it should be, think it through. Think about their recent behavior patterns. Have they changed? When did they change? Are they talking about new friends? Are they talking at all?

Drugs and alcohol use in tweens/teens is even more dangerous if they are mixing it up a bit. Please don't be soothed if you find out that marijuana is their drug of choice. I can't stress enough that minimizing the use of marijuana makes the drug even more dangerous. Does that make sense to you? Think about it for a moment. Whenever we as human minimize the risk of anything in life we may possibly find it creeping into our lives and out of control.

Your young one isn't going to get the fear issue. At their young age they feel they are invincable. They will let you know quickly that you are blowing this way out of proportion and this is no big deal. You may hear "this is the first time I ever tried this stuff"... don't buy it folks. It is very unusal for a parent to catch them in the act the very first time. I am not surprised by the reaction I get from parents that their child just started using... I was once in that spot, in denial. I understand it completely. Denial protects us as parents from knowing more than we care to know. But the quicker you get over the denial issue the better off you and your young one will be.

Denial kills. It kills relationships, it kills addicts... it kills our young ones as well. Face your fear and process it... think it through... figure on the worse case scenario. How will you handle it? Think of the best case there one? Yes there can be because hopefully you have been alerted to the drug use in its early stages.

It is important that you do not allow yourself to be frozen by fear. Take a deep breathe, think it through. Expect the best outcome but prepare for the worse one. Again, you must own your fear, feel it and put it away. I have never experience a good response from my daughter when I approached the situation being motivated by anger or fear. So while your fears are justified do not let them consume you. Think it through... parents talk it out and prepare for the next phase.

God bless you... look to God and pray for wisdom.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

What now?

Okay, you suspect or you have already confirmed your child is using drugs. What now? Phase one is usually anger. What? Not my kid? I'm gonna break him/her in two... and then....

Phase two... fear... oh bad is it, who introduced them to drugs???

Phase three... guilt... how did I miss this? What did I do wrong?

Phase one, two and three happen within minutes... even moments of each other. It is but a flash in time within your mind. Now it's time to settle down and think it through - before you react.

Today we will touch on Phase One... anger. Yes you will be angry, accept that of yourself because you are human. It is hard for parents to accept that drugs/alcohol have invaded their family's private space. It is so important for you to acknowledge your feelings of anger, to own that feeling for its 15 minutes of fame. Then be rational and settle down before you even begin to deal with the situation. I know from first hand experience that acting out while motivated by your anger serves no purpose but to further isolate you from your child and the issue at hand.

We simply aren't dealing with an average tween/teen issue here, is isn't about not cleaning their room. While in our parental mind we believe all we have to do is say "this is not acceptable, I taught you better etc." and the problem is solved. Sorry, but in most cases this issue will need to be handle, monitored in steps. Be prepared to be in this for the long haul. Preparing in multiple phases was something I was never prepared for thus I spent a great deal of time backtracking. Feeling like a hamster on a wheel. Expending massive amounts of energy and never getting anywhere.

So, acknowledge your anger - really feel it so you don't find yourself reliving the anger over and over again. Feel it and then put it away. As a parent your first hand experience with drugs is now official. Prepare for Phase two and hold on. Begin that conversation in your head. Process the situation... don't go off half cocked... a raging bull in an already fragile environment. There is a reason that your young blood has decided to bring drugs into their life. Deal with it you must... but not from a place of anger.

Phase two tomorrow


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Scars of War

During my daughters 9 years of drug addiction she went through numerous stretches of soberity. Sometimes they were long periods and sometimes... not so long. Battling heroin addiction is like trying to swim in the ocean with your arms and legs bound while being stung by a school of jellyfish. It is heart wrenching to witness knowing that you are helpless to do anything but love them.

It was during a lengthy stint of soberity that Ang was working as a waitress at an all night dining establishment. She was a great waitress and worked very hard to please everyone. When she was sober she was amazing at everything... simply everything!!! So, I went into the "restaurant" for breakfast and she was visably upset beyong words. With tears in her eyes she said to me "This guy saw my track marks and said 'oh gross she's a junkie, look at her arms man the girls a dope whore'". My heart broke into a million pieces right there on the stool. She was like "Mom, here I am trying so hard and yet the scars remain.. a constant reminder, everyday, every minute... and the world is full of jerks!"

She took a break and we walked outside. Me personally - I wanted to break the guy in half but unfortunately he wasn't there. I told her honey - jerks are everywhere and that guy well he was a jerk. I tried so hard to get her to see how powerful she really was... how valiantly she was fighting a dragon far, far bigger than she. I told her I was proud of her hard work and that I loved her more than "infinity much" (which was something she used to tell me when she was little - with her arms out-stretched) and always would be there for her. She settled down and went back to work. But that day, that very day another scar was added my baby girl - this time to her heart, not her arms.

That new scar, along with the ones she was already carrying both inside and outside proved to be another back breaker for her. This stint of clean time was coming to an end - again. See for those young folks suffering from addiction there is a very fine line between giving up and staying sober. They are young, filled with fear and lacking the wisdom that comes with age. If only I could have given her the strength to make her stronger... alas I could not... love was all I had to truly give her... loving arms, a shoulder to rest upon and the words of God whispered into her ears.

I miss her so much...


Supporting a Good Cause

Sending out love to all those who have been supporting this ministry from the onset. Losing my daughter to heroin was the most devastating event in my life. I can't explain to you how it shattered our family. We were so thankful for God's grace and the love and support of family and friends as we tried to adjust to the "new normal" that had thrust upon us. What do you say to a family that has lost their daughter in such a needless fashion? Angela didn't have to die and yet she did. How do you reconcile such a painful scenario? You can't, you just need to trust God's plan and God's will and know that His healing for her, was perfect healing. You trust, you learn, and for me - move forward and try to make a positive difference for struggling youths... this is God's purpose for my life.

Folks, there is hope on the other end of drug addiction. Healing is possible; help is available. BrokenButLoved was born in order to bring hope to today's youth and their families where drug/alcohol use/addiction have come to roost. Hope for drug free futures, hope for healing!

BBL is grateful for your continued support. This ministry plans to grow and continue its outreach... reaching as many youths as possible. Youth events are currently in the planning stages throughout the summer - stay tuned as we grow.

Even one more drug related death is one too many!!!


Monday, April 5, 2010

Distressed Parenting

I just can't believe the number of parents that are getting high with their children. In some areas it is worse than others but that fact that I have to address this issue at all causes my heart great pain.

Our children look to us for guidance, support, life lessons, the difference between right and wrong. While raising a family so many issues we are faced with are not black and white... they are varying shades of gray. But there is one issue we are dealing with right here and it is drugs are illegal!!! Not only are marijuana, cocaine, crack, heroin, mushrooms etc... extremely damaging to your health (both physical and mental) and potentially deadly but I repeat they are illegal.

It is a parents job to teach their children to respect the law, the system and the government even if they do not agree with them. There are many laws and situations that I myself may not agree with, however, that does not give me the right to break the law, just because it doesn't suit my personal preferences. No one has that right! It is imperative that children learn laws are put in place for a reason and regardless of our personal opinion they are to be obeyed.

What kind of example are parents that actually get high with their kids setting for them? What kind of respect will these young people show other adults in authority and eventually - what kind of respect will they grow to have for their own parents?? My guess is little or none! The frivolous pursuit of attaining a high, an illegal high to top it off... squandering money on illegal drugs, risking their own freedom and the welfare of their children is irresponsible and potentially deadly. This does not show lack of love per say... but it does show an inability to think and reason clearly when it comes of responsible parenting.

I want to make myself very clear in that I understand the trappings of addiction.I condemn or judge no one with addictions issues. But there is never a good reason to pull a child into that set of circumstances. It is the responsibility of the adult with the personal issue of addiction to get help with their recovery - not to offer their own child or someone else's child the option of getting high with them. That action I condemn whole-heartedly. I've thought through this issue quite thoroughly and cannot find any good reason for a parent to get high with their children.

We too often turn our heads from these situations because we have become a society of "me" and not "we". It really is time for us to start caring for each other, helping each other and not leaving today's youth to fend for themselves when a situation such as this is part of their up bringing.

I ask you, if you know of a situation such as what I have described, please notify someone. Perhaps, a school guidance counselor, local authority figure... clergy... someone... reach out and give a child in this dangerous state and opportunity to grow up drug free. Doing so will perhaps give the parents involved as reason... an eye opening reason to clean up their lives, to stay in recovery and be able to teach and love their children as they deserve to be parented.

God bless...