Tuesday, February 16, 2010

We are broken people

We are all broken people, in some way. Teens seem to have more than their share of folks pointing out to them just how broken they are and not enough folks showing them how special they are. Trying to fit in to the right "crowd", to gain popularity somewhere within their generation is a constant looming necessity for them. All it takes is one little thing for them to be cast out or voted out of whatever group they fit in to... that is with the exception of those who are drugging and drinking. As long as you have money or trade you can stay.

I remember my daughter's pre-drug years. She was in the "smart and popular" crowd. Going to all the right social engagements, being seen with all the "right" girls and guys. All it took was one show of her own thoughts separate from theirs and she was cast aside like a chewing gum wrapper. Not only cast aside but then ridiculed to top it off - making sure the "world" knew she no longer "fit in" with the "chosen few".

This was devastating to her and looking back I did not do enough as a parent to help her regain her self esteem. We need to be mindful as adults of what our young people are going through on any given day. Are we present for them? Are we lifting them up every single day? Are we watching their moods closely? Are we just chalking everything up to "growing pains"? Big mistake folks... we need to be watching, monitoring and then gently steering them back to center. Back to looking at how special they are within themselves. We need to be teaching them the coping skills they need to find their way, to find out who they are and what they can accomplish, how to lead...how to stand for something.

It sadness my heart to see how fragile friendship has become in the last 20 years. Young people aren't sure how to be a good friend, how to stay a good friend. They are uncertain of how to be who they are when everyone around them is trying so hard to be somebody else.


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