Are you listening...really?

How often do you take what you hear at face value, excepting it for truth? Do you find yourself perhaps doing a little reading between the lines? Before you answer consider if you are actively listening, fully in the moment; or are you distracted your mind wandering in numerous other directions?

Being an active listener is something that most of us have to learn. Our minds are so cluttered with the business of daily living that we are often times not completely “tuned in” when others are speaking to us. This is especially true with our youth, when they want to talk, you need to be listening. You need to be fully engaged at that very moment. It’s not just about what is being said, but how it is being said; are they looking you in the eyes when they are speaking? What is their body language telling you? Are you only being feed that which they think you want to hear? Are their important missing pieces that need to be flushed out? Yea, I know so much for parents to consider. Can’t we just have a normal conversation with our teens, one in which we just talk. Sometimes yes, absolutely – other times the consequences of what appears to be a simple conversation could result in something more serious. That is why regardless you need to give them your complete undivided attention.

When young people become involved with drugs/alcohol on any level of consumption it’s a deal changer. I have heard many parents (more than I care to think about) be very unconcerned when their teens are “experimenting with drugs/alcohol”. Experimenting are you kidding me??? Do you know how many experiments turn out badly, even deadly? We are not talking about a controlled environment here. Their experimentation is not controlled in any way. There isn’t anyone standing by their side in case it blows up. If you are minimizing their use of pot or alcohol or whatever it is then shame on you! Seriously, why would you do that in the first place? Is it because ‘hey I did it and I turned out okay”, or maybe you don’t consider it enough of a threat to their life at this point to be worried about it. Well, your wakeup call is here folks! It’s your responsibility as a parent to let them know how unacceptable their behavior is and to do everything you can to contain it and curtail it. Knowledge is power, but only if it is put into action.

If your child is involved in the drug/alcohol culture already then be prepared to be lied to, over and over again. You think not? Ahh, you would be wrong. That’s where you need to be listening, really listening. Watching… their friends (have they changed recently); their personal habits; their family involvement or lack thereof; their grades; their overall attitude. Ok, so you’re thinking that seems like a great deal of extra work, hmmmm shouldn’t you be doing that anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I remember missing very important details when my daughter was in the throes of drug use. We all do the best we can, but do it! It’s that important. Every moment is a teachable moment… use each one you get and live what you teach. They are certainly watching you.

Pray for our youth… everywhere… everyday!

God Bless!

Apathy

How involved in your child's life are you? This question has nothing to do with how much you love them. I am amazed at how many parents are afraid to look at the issue of teen drug/alcohol use. Are we worried that we won't be looked at as the "cool parents"? Are we afraid to see that there may be brokenness within our family unit? I understand that there are multiple problems in this country and around the world. I get that we are all trying so hard to keep our head above water in a world that seems determined to destroy itself... yes I understand. But what happens if we choose not to look the issue of teen substance abuse square in the eyes and deal with it. If we continue to turn a blind eye to this issue the future of our country becomes even more uncertain. We can not allow that to happen people. We NEED our young ones to be thinking clearly and ready to use their intellect, their creativity and their drive to create a better world.

It all starts at home. Don't wait for your school district to do all the work. We must take back our families... we must bring our children back into the fold. Hold them accountable, teach them responsibility, let them know it's okay not to be perfect and help them work through their weaknesses and issue that prey upon them on a daily basis. Your children are a blessing from God. I can't think of anything more important then our youth.

Pray for the children...blessings!

May 15 2010

May 15th is a very special day for BrokenButLoved. It is our first annual teen substance abuse awareness event and prayer vigil. This event is being held in Lancaster Square, Lancaster, PA across from Binn's Park from 5-7:30 pm. With the help of Christian rock band Thur Me, numerous speakers and a slew of volunteers we seek to spread Christ's love through music, speakers and prayer. We are losing teens every day to drug/alcohol use and it is up to each of us to take back our family unit - bring the focus back on family, faith and love. If you are in the area please stop by and support this very important cause. What could possibly be more important than our families, our community, our children?

Parents come out and bring your tweens and teens.... this is a free event... for all ages.

Visit our website www.brokenbutloved.org... find us on Facebook and Twitter...

Blessings

A call from God

As I was running errands today I was listening to the radio and the announcer was talking about spiritual gifts and how different folks are called to minister in different ways and each individual must discern what their gifts actually are and how to use them. I always had a gift for gab and I was never afraid to speak in front of a crowd, but I never would have thought that God would lead me to this place.

I remember as my daughter's addiction became more intense and we were all dealing with the stress, pain and fear of the situation it occured to me that I was pretty tough (ha! little did I know at the time it wasn't my strength at all). I loved her so much, I would do anything and everything to try and save her, even if she didn't want to be saved... (ahhh the rub of addiction... we can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved.) I was so glad that she was my daughter, that God blessed me with her. What if she had ended up with a mother that just threw her away instead of loving her unconditionally? I thanked God for her precious life. I knew God then, I believe in Christ then... but what I didn't know was that God was ever more present than I ever knew... I did not at that point have a real, true relationship with my Jesus.

So much pain in drug addiction, so much fear, every moment is filled with uncertainity... where is she tonight? Is she safe? Is she alive? When is she coming home. Sleeplessness... night after night... walking the city streets at 2:00 am looking for her... facing drug dealers on their turf... God was surely protecting me... every night I was there asking the Lord to protect my baby girl where ever she was and to save her from this horrible drug. Heal her please dear Lord... heal her.

And then he did... one Sept. 1, 2007... he took my baby home... He healed her scars, He restored her peace and she rests with Him... serving Him... filled with Joy!!!
And I... well I gather my strength every day from God, my Lord fills me with His presence and I step out again and again to tell our story... her story... to try and reach as many young people and their parents as I can. Fulfilling my calling from God. Thank you Lord for loving me and directing me.

Dear Heavenly Father... watch over these young ones - let them come to know you and be set free from drugs and alcohol. Let them grow drug free to find their own calling - a gift from you. In Jesus' name. Amen

I love you pumpkin..

Blessings

Where were your children last night?

Do you know where your children were last night, what they were doing and who they were doing it with?? I'm talking about all your children... all ages. What were your younger children doing? Were they watching TV, playing video games... or were they reading, coloring, using their imaginations? Were they spending quality time with you and perhaps their siblings? Your "tweens" and teens who were they spending their Saturday night with? Were they active? Were they passive? Were they partying? Do you know, did you check on them? Did you call other parents? Do you even know the parents of your tweens and teens? Too many questions for a Sunday morning? Perhaps, but they are all pertinent questions, all of them need review.

It used to be that parents knew each other. Mothers and fathers would talk among themselves... keeping track of their children's activities. These days were lucky to know our neighbors by their first name. There are parents out there that justify allowing alcohol to be consumed in their home in the "name of safety"... 'if they are drinking here and staying here then we know they are safe'. That my friends is a bunch of hogwash and is totally irresponsible parenting. There is no justification for allowing children to break the law. The law was put in place for a reason, adults need to lead by example! Allow them to break one law and they will push to break another or develop the attitudes that rules don't apply to me - they apply to everyone else not me!

I am amazed at how many parents are actually doing drugs with their kids. What is that about? How can they justify their actions? I cannot imagine how they can allow their children to follow down a destructive path such as this but it is becoming more and more of a problem. School districts are finding it harder and harder to reach out to these youths because parents will not allow intervention. Very, very sad state of affairs.

Okay, take stock... where do you stand on these issues. What example do you want to set for all your children?

Your younger children... are you spending quality time with them? Do they have an electronic babysitter? Are you allowing them to use their imagination in their play? Are they watching your behavior and learning positive things from you. Good communication... personal interaction... faith in God... how to make a positive difference in the world.

Your tweens and teens... do they know you are watching them? Are they left to their own devices when setting boundaries for right and wrong? Let them know you are their parents not their friends... let them know you care enough to check up on them and monitor their behavior, actions and reactions...teach them faith, give them a foundation, give them strong roots so that they can stretch their wings without fear.

Let your entire family know you love them... teach them well. Learn from my weaknesses... learn...

Blessings